Babies arrive and we're still waiting

     I really want to write about Foster adoption and why we've decided to go with this type of adoption, and I will soon I promise. I will write about that when I don't have anything else to "say". :)
     Today I had a couple rough spots. I was thinking this morning of a friend of ours that got pregnant the same time we decided we would start our adoption process. Their beautiful baby girl will be two months old soon! I am so very excited for them and the birth of their first born. I just remembered this morning that we started out at almost the same time, and their baby is here Then I saw a mom I know while picking up S from school. When we first met she told me she was a few weeks pregnant, and we were already a couple months into our paperwork. Today I saw her with her brand new baby girl, born just a couple weeks ago. Many times I've heard adoptive parents consider the paperwork process their "paper pregnancy", and had sometimes fallen into that thinking myself. Today though I realized these mommas have their babies (and I truly am so very happy for them!) and I'm still waiting. I guess I had started to think the time line would be about the same. I do think the concept is right though, I started loving my boys as soon as I knew I was pregnant, and I've started to love this new child since we started the process. I told the boys she's not growing in my tummy, but our love for her is growing in our hearts. I wish I could hold my little girl, to look at her face, to even know her age! I don't know if I should describe the way I'm feeling today as sad or disappointed. Melancholy maybe. I'm so much of a planner that it does sometimes get hard for me that I don't even know when we'll hear about the little girl that will be ours. That I don't know her age, name or when she'll be placed into our home. I believe that this is one way God is growing me, to rely on Him to trust Him in everything and just wait. But goodness do I wish I knew how much longer I had to wait!
        While doing my bible study today  I re-read the story of Sarah. God had promised her that she would be a mother, and that she would have many descendents. Well God had her wait longer than she thought she should, so she took matters into her own hands. Sarah sent her maid to sleep with her husband so that the maid would become with child. I'll paraphrase the rest of the story- God was not happy with that decision. He wanted her to wait on Him, to trust in Him. I feel that God has told me that He will be blessing our family through adoption, and all I need to do is wait on him and trust him. Is it hard? Yes! Can I do it? Yes! (It helps that I have no maids to try to send into my husband.....not that he'd be okay with that.) Do I have anything I can do? Nope. God graciously gave me nothing I can do now  to influence the process. I think He knew this would be hard enough.