At peace again

       Whew. Last week was HARD. SO many emotions. And I did not handle it well. I had a hard time meeting with social workers at the family fair, even though I practiced making good conversation and I knew what to expect. It was still hard to meet with 8 different counties and not one had a child available like we are looking for. I knew it was going to be like that, but still hard for me. I knew after that that I was not fully trusting God with the timing and outcome of this. I can't make a child come available and I can't make a social worker pick us. But still I was worrying about both happening. Josh and I have know from the beginning that this was something God was calling us to explore and to do, and we could only trust Him with it. It's hard though. I have never had to so fully and completely rely on God for something I wanted so badly. And it's been a long wait too! I was blessed to get pregnant with both the boys quickly so I haven't had to wait this long for a new child. I am really being stretched in this, and last week was a hard one on me. Especially having so much hope in the twins then thinking we hadn't been picked. I had been to consumed with them and not trusting in God for placement.
         Hearing that a family had not been picked was a turning point for me. Earlier that day I had realized that I again need to rest in Gods peace and that He knows everything that is going to happen and all the timing. So to get to the place of complete trust in Him again and then find out a family hadn't been picked, made me realize how silly I'd been. God knows if we're the family for the twins or not. He knows the outcome of the court decision today and He knows the timing of the trip Josh will be taking. He knows, I don't! Why should I worry when my Heavenly Father, the God of all the universe knows! Answer- I shouldn't! And I won't. I am again so peaceful with the wait, knowing that God knows more than I and He loves my Daughter(s) more than I ever could. He loves me too. He's probably excited to see what will happen when our daughter comes home, and He will be faithful. So I'm not going to worry, about court dates and timing for meetings and trips.
      The bible says in James to have joy when you face trails and I'm back to seeing joy in this. I am growing in my faith and in my parenting, and in life. I am so joyful that God has chosen me for this path and that I get to walk this with Him. And I am thankful for the things this trying time is producing in my life. Those verses in James are becoming real to me. So whatever will be will be, and I'm going to trust God.
       Also the court date for the twins was today  for the judge to decide if visitation will be cut with the birth mother and the twins to move on to adoptive placement. I'm praying that this will be the case, as it looks like the best thing for the girls. Please join with me in prayer. Also that we would hear soon if we will be chosen or not. But most importantly that I (and Josh) will continue to have a peace about waiting and continue to trust God in the outcome. Thank you all for following along.