Last night I was doing some reading and I read Philippians because I've been trying to keep up with Josh's reading he is doing for his trip. And they are reading Philippians this week. Anyway while reading I realized I've read Philippians A LOT, because without trying I have most of it memorized. Which is why when I came upon Chapter 4 verses 6&7. I read them and re-read them. I have read that many times before and knew it as I read it. But this time I REALLY read it, and it touched me. This is what God has been laying on my heart, what He been doing for me this past months! "Do not be anixous in anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." (Phil 4:6,7) I mean WOW! I just felt like that was written just for me, just for now.
I'll tell you all a little secret (and hopefully Josh doesn't mind). Josh and I have not ever been great about praying together. We have bursts. But when we started this we started praying together a lot. And in the past year we've been pretty good at it. And God told me a year ago that this adoption journey was something that was going to grow us spiritually together. We've prayed about this and other things together and for me it is a powerful thing to hear my husband praying about things in our lives and our friends. Have we been perfect and done it every day? No. But we have started and have probably prayed together more in the last year than in the 10+ years before. And I have been praying everyday myself for this adoption and for God's will with it and our lives. "...by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.". And the more I pray about the adoption and finding God's will for us the more I an thankful for all we have. I am everyday thanking God for the wonderful life we have. I am so happy and content with our life and the way things are, which makes me so much happier, and so thankful!
"And the peace of God which transcends all understanding..." I cannot even begin to describe how true God has made this in my life. I am naturally a semi anxious person. I like to have a plan and make it work. If I don't have control of a situation I get a little anxious, if I don't know the outcome of a situation I get a little anxious. So to have such a peace about where we are while we have NO control, to leave it all in God's hands and trust Him completely, has been amazing to me. From anxious to amazed, only God can do that. It takes choosing to trust God, to not want to be anxious, to be willing to give it up, and God does amazing things. I have tried and I cannot alone let go of my anxiety, but by not wanting to be anxious and asking for God's help He has blessed me with His peace. A few weeks go, I tried again to have a go of it on my own and ended up in tears, begging God for help again. And He is reminding me again with these verses. And the cool thing is just by asking for His help and continuing to present my prayers to God He is faithful to not let me be anxious. That is so cool!!!
Also I had been so worried about "turning down" or being presented children that I knew would not be a good fit for our family and that saying "no, that's not a good fit" would be heart wrenching. I was afraid it would be more than I could handle. But do you remember verse 7 talking about the peace of God? "....will guard your hearts and minds..." Okay again I wish I could describe how powerful this has been for me! It is super, super sad that there are so many kids that need good homes, and it is hard to not be able to help them all. I realize that I know, and God knows, what will work for our family. And I know what God has told me. And I hasn't been hard in the way I've thought. The peace God has given me is also guarding my heart in this time! Not only that but He is guarding my mind, and allowing me to see clearly what is right for us and what isn't. I wish I could explain how awesome this is. My God is protecting me from heartache and doubt.
I am holding back tears, just thinking of how grateful I am that my God id holding me so lovingly. He is giving me peace during a stressful time, He is removing my anxiety during an anxious wait, He is guarding my heart so that it doesn't break, and He is guarding my mind so I can see clearly. I really hope you all get how big that is. And if He can do this for me, the control freak who doesn't ever like to let go, He will most certainly do it for you in any situation you may have. Take encouragement from this and remember to choose to let God have control, and "...in everything with prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." I promise you He is faithful "And the peace of God which transcends ALL understanding, will guard your hearts and mind in Christ Jesus." And I'm so thankful for that.
If you have something you need to not be anxious over and need to present it to God, please let know how I can pray for you.
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